Confusion

If I were a poem,
I would confuse you with my lies.
Make you think otherwise,
Set things unclear.
Reverse the truth,
Simply tell you a bold face lie.

If I were a poem,
I would say to you,
He means nothing to me.
Go on to say,
My life wouldn’t be affected,
If he wasn’t here.
He hasn’t taught me anything,
About the struggles,
The stress,
The love, that’s so unconditional.

If I were a poem,
The pages wouldn’t smile,
When I realized,
The jug of milk
Is spilled all over the floor.
He’s standing,
Flabbergasted.
Looks up and says,
“Uh-oh, you did it!”
Each line describing the way,
You lay underneath me,
As we both sleep.
Tell me after every kiss,
“I love you momma!”
And I can’t stand it!

But I am NOT a poem
And my words aren’t as deceiving as they may seem.
My sentences are pure,
Speak truthfully.
He’s my world,
And the light that guides me.

prayer

No one understands,
The pain I hold within.
My soul whimpers for a prayer
Answered,
My heart stings with fear and
Anger.
I shiver as I sleep,
Afraid this may be my last
Slumber.

Some nights,
I spent, face soaked as I weep
And pray.
He knows I’m calling to him,
He feels my agony.
I pray he sends my white horse
And prince.

Demons whisper in my ear,
Telling me I’m stuck here.
No way out.
I refuse to listen,
Hold my head high.

But no one can explain,
How I can smile without shame.
Although deep inside,
An uncontrollable wild fire
Destroys who I am.
Truthfully,
These may be my last days
And he, who hurts me,
Will get his way.

Here’s my voice,
Calling to him.
Begging for a relief.
How much more can I take
Before I break?

Born named “free spirit.”
Swayed like a breeze,
Down-to-earth attitude,
Carefree, of all worries.
Until the day of introduction,
Went upon it, without thought of the future.

Yesterday I was introduced as “Fearful.”
Timid of his rage,
Dare not to criticize his judgment.
Analyze my choice of words carefully,
Bottle up his angry words,
Brush off his hatred looks.

I once was “Hesitant.”
Walking with my head chin to chest,
Worried, that I’m fading into the darkness of my anguish.
Simmering soul awaiting for acknowledgement,
Damaged spirit, floating out of reach.
Grasping tightly,
I refuse to let go.
Holding on with all my might,
I feel my soul revive.




Today my name is “Bravery”
Awakening from a wicked dream.
Amused by his arrogance,
Now, Fearless of his presence.
Having the sensation to walk tall,
Released my captive emotions.

Today I roar the thoughts on my mind from impulse,
The wings to my spirit once again revealed.
Words spoken with confidence,
His enrage actions, are now invisible.
My frown now replaced with a smirk,

He thinks my name is “Insecure”
Someone who lingers on his every word.
But now I strive to be indifferent.
Rejoicing in my internal victory,
Of overcoming being a victim of his “Love.”

Tomorrow my name will be “Strong”
Withholding the urge to turn back,
Following a new path,
Flaunting my renewed soul.
Unbreakable,
Won’t bend or be broken.
Having the strength to announce, “I’m moving on”
Having the ability to control my own actions.
If we ever cross paths,
My mind will reflect the journey,
But my eyes will reveal the split road.
Where I will choose the way to a happier life.

by meh!!!